April- Child Abuse Awareness Month

Something I hold near and dear to my heart. Speaking out against child abuse. I was abused as a child. I was emotionally, sexually and physically abused. Me and my 3 sisters. I am the only one in the family who has been able to get thru the darkness and speak. I can hold my head high. My abuse does not have power over me. If you have suffered with abuse, I want you to know you are not alone. There are so many people and so many silent sufferers. You don't have to live in the dark anymore. Let me help you bring light into your cold dark shadow. I made the dark go away. You can too. Its not your fault what happen to you. None of it is. You don't have to live in fear or silence. Only when we begin to speak do we truly break the invisible tape they put over our mouths. You can call an abuse hotline and talk with someone. You can go to church and speak to someone. You can sit on the edge of your bed and talk with the Lord. You need to tell someone and you need to let it out. Cry, fear, hate, rage. It has to come out. When I was holding in my secret, I started becoming a different person. My love and passion and likes were drowning. I was slowly becoming a cold bitter person. And I was not that person. But I was. It got to the point where I could not even feel the love of anything. I could not show love. I could not accept love. I was emotionally detaching from the world and family around me. Till one day. I stopped it. I stopped myself from falling into that cold dark deep well of emotions. How? I asked Jesus to come save me. I tried on my own. I tried very hard. There was nothing I could do anymore. Jesus took all the pain and hurt away. He gave me a voice to speak. He lifted all the pain from my heart. He took it and he showed me what real love can do and how real love can be and how love can feel.

Today I am working on forgiveness on their part and my part for the hate. This is a long struggle for me. I am able to let go but to forgive is something I have to work on. If you are suffering with abuse or the effects of abuse I want you to know you are not alone. And there is a reason why you feel like you do. YOU DONT HAVE TO SUFFER ANYMORE! You don't need to relive moments in time and things you can not change. They will never admit it or care. They stole so many things from you. You can take them back. You have a voice. You have to stand up for you.....even if its been a long long journey. Don't stay still over in the corner. Come out with me and hold my hand. Only together can we fight this battle. Bring awareness. SPEAK OUT. Don't keep this a hush hush seceret anymore. When you break that silence. YOU HOLD THE POWER!

http://www.preventchildabuse.org/help/reach_out.shtml

National Domestic Violence Hotline.
1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224

RAINN - The Rape, Abuse & Incest National Hotline
800-656-HOPE (4673)

Stalking Resource Center 800-FYI-CALL
800-394-2255) 800-211-7996

The Miles Foundation for victims of military sexual and domestic violence
203-270-7861

National Center for Victims of Crime 800-FYI-CALL
800-394-2255) 800-211-7996

Child Help USA National Child Abuse Hotline
800-4A-CHILD (800-422-4453) 800-2A-CHILD (800-222-4453)

National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
800-THE-LOST (800-843-5678)


Sometimes I hear my voice...in what Tori Amos has said........

Dear Friends, For the last two years, I've sung "Me and a Gun" at every concert as a way of healing the place inside myself that has been hurt, enraged, and numbed by violence.

For many years, I shut down that place inside myself that needed to rage, cry, ask questions, and basically just express herself.

I made a conscious choice when I put "Me and a Gun" on the record not to stay a victim anymore. You see, I was still a victim in my own mind from an experience that had happened a long time ago: I was still torturing myself.

Passion, joy, and love were not things I felt I could have or deserved anymore. I've been encouraged by wise ones, who taught me how to develop inner tools where I can understand these scared places in my being. It took me many years to make the decision to deal with this, but a bitter woman was what I was becoming and when I was young I always saw myself as a passionate woman.

I would say, "Well, she's dead." and the wise ones said, "It's your choice, Tori, if you want to bring her back to life, you can. She's only been sleeping-alone, in a very dark corner. It's your choice and there is help out there."

I recieved a letter from a 13-year old girl in Paris whose stepfather has been molesting her for years. She wrote: "If I had known a phone number which would have been able to help me, I certainly would have dialed it. So, we can't go one being blind and dumb: You don't have to put the message with the help phone number out now. Maybe you'll never do it, because of different reasons. You won't be to blame for it.

But, I want you never to forget that "every day someone loses their dignity."

Healing takes courage and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.

Love and Support,

TORI AMOS